Mack’s Mindless Musings: Extreme Baby Flatulence

Mush is now 11 weeks old and amazes me more and more each day. There is however one thing that I have found especially illuminating. In fact, I have quickly progressed through a range of emotions regarding a certain thing she excels in. I find it hilarious, disgusting, unending, embarrassing and sometimes just downright impressive!

What am I talking about? My child’s extreme farting abilities! I am not the only one with mixed emotions towards this competition standard flatulence (if there is such a competition, she would win hands down). Mush herself can be sad about the wind, outright angry, find it hilarious, confusing and much to her parents delight; has been shocked by it on more than one occasion!

The tuneful delights of my daughter’s bottom become most inconvenient when out in public. She can reach such decibels that the every day Joe Public cannot and will not believe it was her.

In an effort to combat the embarrassment (for me personally) I have teamed up with said baby. This is what we do:

First Game
Step 1: Mush breaks wind.
Step 2: I accept responsibility for aforementioned wind in a very loud and obnoxious way.
Step 3: I vigorously waft a certain part of my anatomy.
Step 4: Bobal digs a hole, climbs in and attempts to die of shame.

Second game
Step 1: Mush breaks wind.
Step 2: I hold my nose, look disgusted and point at Bobal.
Step 3: I pick up baby and quickly vacate the area glancing over my shoulder at Bobal with a disgusted expression.
Step 4: Bobal attempts to defend herself, all the while looking more and more guilty.
Step 5: See Step 4 of Game 1.

Mack

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