The Mack-Bobal daily grind is a grind. It’s a busy balancing act of life admin, two big jobs, three children’s ever increasingly busy schedules, constant germ and sickness management (anyone else’s winter been a washout of someone always being ill?) and the careful orchestration of childcare of three children between just us two adults. Weeks are blurring by and in those infrequent pauses, when the children do something funny, I think ‘yikes! I must write this down’ and then eeeooow (insert fast car noise here), life is a blur again.
It felt more manageable for this blog to note things down on WhatsApp as they occurred to me (are you even a couple if you don’t have 100 WhatsApp groups between you for different subjects?) and now I have a list and have found 20 minutes to actually act on my impetus. So here we are, a snapshot of our children Mush (7.5), Munch (4.5) and Mite (2), as at February 2023.
The big three adore each other. For morning cartoons they all sit next to each other under the same blanket. They have also insisted on sitting next to each other at the table so if it’s just the four of us at a meal time, I feel like I’m being interviewed by the cutest panel ever. The big girls dote on Mite; he wants for nothing and they will move heaven and earth to make him smile. I love how close they are and it’s one of my greatest wishes that they should always be so; that they’ll have each other when I’m gone. Or, less dramatically – that they’ll always be there to celebrate each other’s achievements, pick each other up after falls and move heaven and earth to make each other smile.
Mush:
Mush is ever so grownup now. She truly got big overnight. She has a little life and little opinions and makes little choices away from the family home. She is up for anything; reflected in the fact that when the school club sign up sheet went round; she immediately signed up for everything including debating and archery. She’s happy to get stuck in; whether or not she’s great at it, whether or not she knows anyone who is doing it too and regardless of how strategically difficult three different morning drops offs before work are (a privileged naivety we work hard to keep her in as if we can facilitate it, then we will). She’s so authentically herself and is just happy being happy. She’s already fluent in sarcasm (Daddy Mack is very proud) clever and witty; basically just really good fun to be around – a little buddy already.
As grownup as she seems though, I’m reminded of how little she still is when it comes to her big feelings. She feels her feelings hard and they’re often overwhelming and all consuming so she tries to bottle and compartmentalise so she doesn’t get that overwhelm; only to then get an explosion at a tiny catalyst. For instance, she doesn’t like to acknowledge little disappointments along the way like when archery, her favourite club, was closed to her year group. When I told her, I said I was sorry and that it was sure to be disappointing but she just brushed it off, cutting me of with a sharp, disingenuous ‘it’s fine.’ It’s a work in progress and I’ve no doubt she’ll crack it. We can already see huge leaps in how she is post feeling explosion, for example on my birthday when I went out with a friend for a few hours rather than spend my whole special day with the family five – a crime so big in Mush’s little head that she lost the plot upon on my return. But afterwards she was able to start talking it through, and accept comfort before finally starting to identify how she was feeling with grownup language and making apologies/offering explanations for acting out – all off her own back. There are many adults who can’t do that! She’s learning to regulate those big feelings more every day and I’ve no doubt that that sensitivity to the world will become a blessing; as I consider it has for me. Amongst many things it’s this sensitivity that allows her to be such an incredible diplomat and whilst I wish she didn’t feel that burden as hard I suspects she does, she has some really incredible friendships as a result, no beef in school or in fact anywhere, is well liked by all and is able to love on her brother and sister without taking any childish antics to heart or in alienation of herself as the oldest. She sees injustice and makes it right, sometimes at her own expense but mostly; she is just happy when those around her are too.
Less hyper-analytical and extremely cute is that Mush has developed her own signature which she signs to everything. As her first name ends in a ‘y’ she writes her name in cursive and then loops the ‘y’ tail around into a heart. And it’s lovely! I hope it sticks around for a while! When the Tesco delivery man requires a signature; you bet she will make him stand there and wait whilst she signs her name with a flourish.
Christmas has just been and we manage the whole Santa debacle by letting friends and family gift what they gift and Santa brings one little something and we ‘write a letter to Santa’ with an idea for a little something they would each like. Mush is still the only one that can write properly so she takes the writing on and takes orders from the other two. Well, as I will explore below, Mite is Paw Patrol obsessed so the girls suggested a ‘Tracker car and pup’ (for those lucky few who don’t know what this is – I’m jealous!). Next went Munch who randomly and on a complete whim requested a baby doll with mittens and a scarf. The mittens and scarf being the key attraction. Not that she plays with dolls really given that she replaces all ‘baby’ play with her beloved robot teddy (‘Baby Ro’). This proved to be the most ridiculously hard thing to source and ended up being the most expensive purchase by far as we ended up with the all singing and dancing doll with four seasonal outfit changes, including; mittens and a scarf. And I’m pretty sure we lost one of the mittens on Christmas day. And then there was Mush, who could not think of one thing she wanted. So content with her life she is. So her paternal grandmother, being with us on a visit, and myself set to making suggestions; an art set being what stuck. I remember the Christmas I got a full stationary briefcase compendium and felt sure this would be perfect for Mush. And it was. She was in awe, opening the case up to rainbow crayons, pencils and felt-tips – the works. She uses it every single day and perhaps the most sweet of all, when she teeters into our room at 6AM to say she’s awake and ask to go down for cartoons, she always has her briefcase in hand ready to carry down with her. She is just so very pure of heart.
Mush goes big on birthdays. She is into it! For my last birthday she made me a card (not so unusual), a picture (not uncommon), both a bespoke crossword and word search (a little more unusual), my own hand drawn unicorn wrapping paper (pretty unique) and a personalised comic strip (surely unheard of). For her friend’s birthday she went one step further and made a true to size puppet in her friend’s image (rare and somewhat creepy). For Christmas she even made Munch a robot sleeping bag (out of paper) for her Baby Ro. She’s creative to say the least. But most of the fun in this is in her preparation. She gets into super secret mode and runs about all hush hush with her co-conspirators (Mack and Munch in the case of my birthday) trying to provoke my questioning. In years gone by my questions of ‘what are you whispering about?’ would be met with hilariously blunt one word answers of ‘poo’. Funny all round. But now, she is far more sophisticated. So when I questioned her this year about what she was doing in her room, without skipping a beat she said ‘I am reading the new Jolly Pocket Postman book called Jolly Pocket Postman Rides Again.’ So I continue the farce and say ‘OOO I’ve never heard of that can I read it?’ to which she says ‘sure’ very sheepishly and disappears off upstairs. Not five minutes later she returns with a folded over piece of paper with the title ‘The Jolly Pocket Postman Rides Again’ with a relevant illustration and a paragraph of prose on the next page. Anticipating my next move, she says ‘it took me so long to read it even though it’s so short as I’m practicing for the slow reading championships at school.’ Straight faced and all. She’s hilarious and now getting too clever and devious for her own good!
Every day is Mush’s catwalk; always has been. We do well sharing clothes between cousins and friends so Mush has a lovely selection of clothes across many tastes for her to play with and play she does. Her current go to is layers including secret layers. She loves to have a pair of shorts and t-shirt hidden under her actual outfit and sometimes even socks hidden under tights (which will be surprise revealed at some point in the day). Over the top she often goes for a pair of jeans or leggings, a t-shirt (second t-shirt in many cases) and then an open buttoned shirt which she wears as a cardigan. Or a dress with a shirt over the top. And always in ALL the colours. She is tall and gangly so getting clothes to fit her is a challenge as they are usually not long enough or too baggy around her waist so her dresses are often very long and her leggings very short! She has just learned how to put a pony tail in her own hair so most days she wears a pony tail with a headband in or her rainbow hat. Despite sounding like she’s trying to pull a fast one on Ryan Air, she always looks very put together – it’s a talent! And if it’s a special occasion you can be sure she’ll take especial care – usually a dress and often jewellery, lip sill (as much around her lips as on) and nail polish. And she won’t go anywhere unprepared so she will often pack a bag with supplies (usually a book and pen and paper) which often includes toys to surprise her brother and sister with at some point. She’s also good on a theme – for horse riding she wears T-shirts that have horses on, when it’s someone’s birthday, she wears their favourite colour and when she recently spent the day with Mack at work she insisted on wearing as close to his uniform as possible including one of his actual t-shirts and a homemade company badge with accurate logo (made of paper ofcourse). No detail is too small.
As now more than established, Mush is kind hearted and one of her sweetest acts are post-afterschool club (wraparound care). The girls both go to wraparound care two nights a week when I’m at work and they love it – just bonus play time with their friends. Now I can finish in time to collect them at quarter to five but I’ve long learned that I must not go earlier that 5:05 as otherwise they miss out on ‘tea’ which usually consists of a couple of slices of pizza or cheesy pasta or a sandwich and crisps and always a biscuit of their choosing. If I’ve ever collected them early, I get an ear full as this is their favourite type of confection. More than once I’ve sat in the staff carpark watching them in the hall, waiting for them to finish eating before calling for them. Frustratingly for me it is not enough food to consist of an evening meal but is enough to mean they will only eat the carbohydrates of what I serve them for their actual tea. Anyway, I digress. For as long as Mush has been doing this club she has been pocketing her biscuit until she gets in the car with her brother and sister so she can break it up and hand out a piece (to be fair usually crumbs at this point) to each of them. And Mush and Mite love her for it. And now, Munch is at school – she does the same. The girls swap crumbs upon being buckled in and Mite opens his chubby hands out in their directions. So sweet.
Mush is a linguist. Her mind is a sponge and she loves to learn. She’s fascinated by other cultures and is currently picking up little bits of many languages. She’s learned how to count in Japanese as part of her karate club, she’s learning Spanish at school and from a friend, She’s picking up Dutch from us and took out a teach yourself French book from our local library. She loves learning about flags and foods of the world and likes to watch TV programmes set in other countries like Elena of Avalor or Encanto where she can pick up bits of the language. When we recently holidayed in Belgium, it was so fun to see her watch Dutch cartoons as engrossed as she would English. I do hope she takes this further; even if it’s just on many adventures abroad!
Finally, in conclusion of this period’s ‘moment in time’ for Mush – bedtime. As described earlier, Mush is long and gangly. We call her a ‘hangy’ which is a relic from my childhood as I too was a ‘hangy’ meaning when picked up or cuddled; we hang outside of the lines unlike my brother and Mush’s siblings who are ‘fitties’ and curl up inside the cuddle. Mush has always been hard to carry. As a baby she never cuddled back and would sit ramrod straight without holding on to us from the minute she was able to do so unaided. Nothing has changed except she is now huge. But, there is an exception to the rule (isn’t there always?). When in bed asleep, Mush some how positions herself into a ball. An actual ball. She folds the quilt under her and over her in a perfect circle with her head just visible out of one side (not always the top). It’s pretty strange to see.
Munch
Let’s pick up where we left off with Mush – bedtime. Munch has a flair for theatrics and now every night I have to play ‘sleeping baby Munch’ to some degree. I think this is a legacy from the six months or so Munch snuck out of her bed to sleep on the floor of the landing where we would find her and carry her back to her bed. Course she’d only relocate again upon her next waking and so on, to the point that we just put the spare mattress out and would just leave her there. She got over it once she moved out of the box room into her pink glittery robot big girl room. Except of course for our now nightly game. In her full element, we do bath, get PJs on, do teeth, have milk with a story (all of us in our bed) and then every one off to their own rooms, only… baby Munch has fallen asleep in Mummy and Daddy’s bed! Oh No! What to do?! So I carry the wide awake, with her eyes mostly shut, smirking four year old back to her bed, whispering what a sweet baby she is, then I tuck her up. I used to think that this would mean that no lullaby and head strokes would be required but sleeping baby Munch always wakes up long enough to demand the usual niceties and then once more feigns sleep. It’s pretty hilarious and very cute. On quicker bedtimes where I’m on my own or it’s late, I start everyone off in their own rooms with individual stories. Munch will often read her reading book to me and then we’ll turn off the lights and I’ll set to stroking her head (at arms length because she doesn’t like it when Mummy breathes on her!) She’ll then pick a lullaby (usually her special one – La La Lu). Half way through my singing she will whisper ‘sleeping baby Munch’ which is my cue to finish the lullaby with little whispers of ‘what a cute baby, little cute baby has fallen asleep’ etc. She’s a funny bun! Once asleep she will spend the night with Baby Ro literally resting over her nose and mouth. Since she was mere months old she has adopted part-suffication as her most comfy sleepy position. Indeed when she was teeny tiny and way before she was expected to, she taught herself to roll and would roll herself nightly on to her face, nose squashed to the mattress, to sleep. No amount of turning her back around would work because she’d just boomerang straight back. Little weirdo.
Like her sister, Munch is a fashion plate. She loves choosing her outfit each day and has very specific opinions. Sometimes she will co-ordinate with her sister, sometimes she’ll take a liking to one outfit in particular (the most recent being a lilac, toole dress with rainbows on from her Guide Mum) which she will then wear constantly until it wears out. Mostly her style is a hodgepodge of randomness and never weather appropriate. Just yesterday she got ready for a bike ride around freezing Newcastle and put on some teeny rainbow shorts, a handkerchief blue strappy flowery top and a butterfly jumper with odd shoes and no socks. She’s not so good at the whole ‘receiving constructive criticism’ thing so these occasions usually result in a stand off before she will deign to put socks on, or knickers, or an outside layer. Equally, she is just as happy completely naked and on the last non uniform day she told us that was what she would wear (or wouldn’t!). Despite all this, her strange concoctions (when they include top and bottoms) always look like a high fashion outfit! Conversely, when getting dressed for school (she has no problems with school uniform), she insists on her coat and also a head band but also a hat (she has taken to stealing a different one of my hats every day) but also ear warmers. She layers them up hat-headband-ear warmers and will not be told otherwise. Adorable. One of my favourite go to looks of hers is when she wears no bottoms, bare legs, her Rapunzal plastic dress up shoes, all her rings, as many temporary tattoos as she has managed to sneak on without us knowing, sunglasses when there’s no sun and her big fur coat. She looks like a pimp. And believe me – she brings the attitude!
Munch has just started experimenting with humour. Most of it toilet. She sets up a myriad of jokes like ‘knock knock’ or ‘why did the chicken cross the road’ but inevitably the answer is always poo. Or wee. Or poo and wee on your head. Despite their one note nature, the are hilarious because she finds herself so funny and has the best laugh and will relentlessly tell the jokes to the end of time which just somehow become funnier and funnier. Possibly hand in hand with jokes are pranks. Her other Guide Mum bought her a practical joke set (they can expect a drum set for their kids next Christmas!) and Munch has had the best time (not surreptitiously at all) placing a whoopee cushion where we are about to step or sit, depositing pretend puke or poo and gleefully picking it up or dotting very realistic looking bugs all over the place. She even manically pretended to have hammered a nail through her finger with the included finger prosthetic (she enjoyed that one a little too much!). She now also likes to hide things that she knows we’ll need, presumably so that she can watch us look for a bit and then say ‘pranked you, here it is!’ Only she always forgets that last step! I was without my slippers for three days because she’d forgotten she’d hidden them one bedtime and she watched Mack turn the house upside down looking for his work jacket and then leave without it before presenting it to me five minutes after he left! She’s such a fun loving little thing!
Munch is four months into her first year of school and she absolutely loves it. Watching her develop a love of reading and writing is incredible. It’s extra sweet with the second child as Mush will actually sit with Munch and listen to her reading and write in her record book. And in a blink of an eye, Munch will be listening to Mite’s reading. Bonkers! Munch adores her teacher (who is in fact fabulous) and loves nothing more than bringing with her a book for the class to read (Superpoop has been taken in more than once!) or otherwise trying (and succeeding because Daddy is soft) in smuggling Baby Ro in. On these days, her teacher gives me a full report on Baby Ro’s day at school and all the fun things he did. On Baby Ro’s days in school he is often protected from the elements by being zipped into Munch’s pinafore dress! She truly loves reading her reading books and will often sit at her desk writing all the words she knows or all the words she sees. Poo and wee appear a lot here also. She’s got herself into a lovely little friendship group and unlike her older sister is very demonstrative, so much so that when she spots a friend across the playground at drop off, she will run to them squealing and then hug them tightly whilst also jumping about like an excited little puppy. She does this with Mush’s friends also, no one is exempt. Unless of course she is in a mood, or doesn’t want to or it’s a Tuesday and then she will fix you with a look of absolute contempt and refuse to engage.
Our little sass pot is still the most sassy of all the little sass pots that ever existed. Her dance moves are always hippy and swishy, she talks with her hands in the cutest way, flicks her hair back repeatedly and no one rolls their eyes better than she does – it’s an entire mood! This was all demonstrated beautifully last weekend when we went on a family swim at a large public swimming pool. She is currently learning to swim so for the first time at this pool she was able to swim to the stairs. Cue her swimming to the stairs then climbing out to walk to the next stairs to climb back in. Only she didn’t walk, she did the sassiest walk/dance where she stuck her bum and chest out; wiggling whilst swishing her hair and waving her arms in the air in front of an entire pool audience like she was walking a cat walk. May she never loose that sass!
Whilst we have covered Munch’s toilet humour, I feel her trumping has to have it’s very own paragraph. Munch thinks nothing is funnier than pumping loudly; preferably when it’s quiet, or during dinner or in the bath. (I blame Mack’s sense of humour which never progressed from that of a two year old’s). She can pump on demand and will quite often do a long, loud drawn out pump and then begin to waft it whilst shouting ‘waft waft.’ Invariably this always makes Mack laugh so it’s a vicious cycle. When we were in Belgium having driven from Amsterdam airport in rush hour and still a way off my Grandma’s in Belgium, we stopped off at a McDonalds. Upon arrival, Munch declared that she needed a poo so Mack volunteered to take her to the toilet and on the walk there she let out the loudest trump I have ever heard for the longest time in the quietest McDonalds. Every other patron whipped round and assumed that it was not the sweet little four year old but the man accompanying her. Mack found it less funny that time! Compounded by the fact that he could not have corrected their assumption if he wanted to because we were in a foreign country! Suffice to say trumping is comedy gold in this house and the kids all get stuck in – you could be forgiven for thinking we have a brass band in our kitchen at meal times! Not unrelated, Munch loves a good ‘bum dance’. I don’t know how this came to be but both girls partake – Munch now more than Mush, whereby they will drop trousers bend over and wiggle their bare butts at (usually Mack) shouting ‘bum dance bum dance.’ Excellent. Now for my final poo anecdote (for this blog) – on the occasions that Munch actually has to poo she will delight in her (genuinely huge) number twos, describing in detail their shape to Daddy. One day she was inconsolable because I had flushed the toilet after her when she had wanted to ‘save her poo’ to show Daddy how big it was! I fear it has all gotten out of hand!
Perpetually an anarchist, Munch has actually come around to playing games – she’s incredible at pairs (and similarly jigsaws) and has fallen in love with Guess Who – a Christmas present from last Christmas. Only, there’s not much guile in her as she will ask ‘does your person have…’ and finish with whatever her person has. Also, she only ever picks Sam. So it becomes quite tricky to actually prolong the game!
The thought of jacking up a force of nature like Munch on coffee is unthinkable yet she is a little bit obsessed with the drink! She insists on sniffing Daddy’s coffee every morning and if we are using the coffee pod machine she insists on making the whole thing and as she does so she blows kisses into the cup so it tastes of love. She is such a sweetie.
Munch has finally mastered her bike (beyond cycling a half moon and then reversing to half moon again!) and her doing so is absolutely demonstrative of her whole attitude to life. If she wants to- she will and any failures on the way are amusing or small hiccups. She fell off, veered off and came to a standstill many many times and yet no tantrums just giggles as she set back to. Munch is single-minded and determined in her especially select aspects of life and she will go far as a result (if we all survive her teenage years!). And yes, Baby Ro rides along with her in a little basket at the front of her bike.
Mite
Mite is the most polite and sweet little thing. We’re not particularly militant about Ps and Qs in our house and yet Mite says ‘thank you Mama’ for everything. Lke when I hand him his breakfast, and then spoon, put a sock on his foot, and the other etc. Our days are ever punctuated with his sweet little voice thanking us to the nth degree. He’s just as on it with his pleases and hellos and goodbyes. In the morning, he will greet each of us individually with a ‘good morning Mama/Daddy/Mush/Munch’ (he is currently last one up at 7AM). And finally, as he cuddles up to his beloved Babs (Dragon teddy) in his bed alone, he will often say night night to each of us – like something off The Waltons.
There’s absolutely something in birth order and personality traits/childhood experience. We have definitely become more flexible and easier in our parenting as we’ve added babies. It’s always been important to us that we eat as many meals all together around the table as possible. A rule that isn’t always agreeable to little fidgety children. Mush was firmly kept at the table when she went through her ants in her pants stage. Munch was entertained to keep her in her place. Mite plays musical chairs as he moves from place to place ordering different family members to swap. He has now largely settled in between his two sisters wedged into one side of the table as he can steal food from each of their plates and get cuddles when he wants but if they are not here then he moves around at will dragging his plate, cutlery, drink and mat with each re-seat.
Mite is really starting to talk and it’s gorgeous. I think talking is my favourite milestone. It is so special hearing their little thoughts and so much easier when they can make their needs known plus – it is hella cute when they mix things up or mispronounce. Mite is no exception. My favourite quirks to date are when he wants a cuddle he talks in the third person saying ‘Mummy cuddle Mite.’ In the middle of the night I’ll just hear that over and over until I lift him out for snuggles. Sometimes he’ll add ‘Mummy cuddle Mite and Babs’. My other favourite is when he wants to be picked up he says ‘carry you’ instead of ‘carry me’ because of course he hears ‘shall I carry you?’. It’s super sweet to see him with his arms up pleading ‘Mummy carry you.’
No human or animal requires more cuddles, kisses and touch than Mite. Some days I think he would climb back in utero if he could! Mummy is his first choice but he’ll beg and steal love from anyone of us at will. The girls adore giving him cuddles and often compete to win one. His current favourite cuddle is on nights Daddy is putting him to bed. When I come over to him up in Daddy’s arms, he throws an arm around me and squishes my face next to Daddy’s then proceeds to kiss me then Mack then me then Mack unendingly! Its incredibly lovely.
Mite’s a good eater and we have nearly finished the milk ladder meaning he is now only allergic to sesame and walnut/pecan which has opened his horizons. You wanted to see him eat his first Babybel – the look he gave me was like ‘where has this been all my life?!’ Most mornings he eats all of his overnight oats and moves on to Mummy’s and Daddy’s before ordering one of his sisters to get him some dry cereal. His especial favourite vegetable is cooked carrots and I’ve never seen anything like it. Faced with a chatenay carrot he will shove the whole thing into his mouth closely followed by a second, third and forth. It’s like watching Bugs Bunny at work.
Mite’s current favourite thing is Paw Patrol. He loves playing with the cars, cuddling the teddies, reading the books and watching the show. And good job too as we have all the merchandise having supported paw patrol obsessions in both the girls. It has had an unintended side effect in Mite though as rather than learn colours; Mite has learned the shades of the Paw Patrol. The sun is Rubble, carrots are Zuma and grass is Rocky. Whoops!
Mite has become a whizz on his Bug Bike – he’s a bit lethal actually. Instead of a three wheel bike he treats it like an F1 car; drifting around corners. emergency stopping just before tables or breakables, hand break turning in and out of doorways and doing donuts in the kitchen. Sometimes he gives his sisters a ride on the back but mostly he just rides it everywhere – even carrying it up the stairs to wreak havoc there. We thought this might mean that he’d be into a balance bike or scooter but he is not. Mack took him out with a scooter just last week and he loved it – so far as wearing a helmet and having a scooter accessory but he would only push it next to him rather than ride it – like he was taking it out for a walk!
No exception to the dress to impress rule; Mite likes to dress up. He doesn’t particularly care what he puts on everyday, unless there is a Paw Patrol option and then he unrelenting asks for that (Rubble socks Rubble socks Rubble socks) until he gets it. But he does love anything glittery, poufy or fancy. He is forever getting the girls to get him in a fancy dress dress and insists on wearing everyone else’s shoes – bonus if they are Mush’s sparkly shoes. And if the outfit includes a tiara or wings – all the better!
Mite might not yet attend school but he is beloved on the plaground, the girls’ friends all try hard to illicit a cuddle or high five, the teachers all coo over him, our parenting community who all watched as my tummy grew with him, who witnessed the excrutiating two weeks he refused to come out and have since watched him grow up; all stop to say hello and comment on how big he’s getting but perhaps best of all is when we pick up Munch. As soon as Munch’s teacher opens up the gate, Mite pushes past the exiting children, finds Munch in the line and walks out with her, often holding her hand. And without fail, Munch’s teacher includes him in the roll call as she releases him to me as if he’s been in school all day with the big kids. It’s adorable.
Well there you have it, a moment in time. It’s a comfort to know that my three will be able to read these little blogs when they’re older and get a little window into their childhood. And it is just as comforting for me that these moments do not get lost as they inevitably get replaced or faded in my head by all the equally incredible ones to come.
Bobal.
Mack and Bobal Waffle On 