Mack’s Mindless Musings: All I Wanted was Some Shelves Next to the Fridge

One lazy afternoon in the no-man’s land between Christmas and New Year (the time where everyone wanders around bloated and confused, wondering what day it is) I was pottering around doing the dishes (yes Mum, this happens from time to time). Generally I was minding my own business while Bobal, her mum and Mush where just relaxing in the living room.

Whilst stacking everything away, in the intricate puzzle like fashion we have become accustomed to, I once again realised what a distinct lack of storage space in the kitchen we have. So I had a thought. A very ‘simple, quick and cheap solution’ came to mind that I stupidly vocalised to the family.

“Hey I know, wouldn’t it be great if we got a small set of shelves to put next to the fridge.”

Little did I realize what a mammoth mistake my musing was to be and the grave error of judgment I had just made.

What I assumed was a seemingly harmless thought, spawned a domino effect of apparently necessary jobs that formed in my wife’s mind and spewed out of her mouth. Adjustments that cascaded around my home like a tornado leaving no room untarnished. Here’s how the events unfolded:

Mack: “why don’t we get some shelves next to the fridge?”

Bobal: “Good idea, but I think we should move the fridge into the larder and put a big (expensive) set of shelves where the fridge used to be.”

Mack: “erm that’s an interesting idea…” *Mack empties larder and puts fridge in, assisted only by distant watching eyes*

Bobal’s Mum: “oh no that doesn’t work, where will the microwave go? What you really need to do is put the dining room in the living room, the living room in the dining room and move Mack’s office upstairs.”

Mack *looks nervous*

Bobal: “hmm, interesting but what about the litter trays…. that won’t work. We should put the fridge in the living room.”

Mack *unclenches and puts the fridge in the living room*

At this point Bobal’s dad arrives “what are you doing?”

Mack “I just want some shelves next the fridge.”

Bobal’s dad then suggests all previous suggestions before offering another option: “why don’t you put the fridge in the garage?”

Mack *looks nervous and feels he should climb into the fridge to regain his cool*

Bobal: “I don’t think that will work” *Bobal sees label on back of fridge* “aww, the fridge is called Cyclopentane. Where do you want to live Cyclopentane?”

*Mack shares a knowing, disaproving look with Bobal’s father*

Bobal: “how about in the office?”

Mack: *moves Cyclopentane to the office*

Bobal: “oh no there isn’t enough room in here with that couch, you should put the couch in the garage” (aka my gym).

Mack *moves couch into garage and wonders if he can quit being a husband and son in law… just for the day*

Bobal’s Mum: “I still think you should move Mack’s office upstairs. Why don’t you put the microwave here?”

Mack *moves microwave*

Bobal: “I think the microwave will work better here”

Mack *moves microwave*

Bobal: “I think you were right it looks better here but what about having it turned this way?”

Mack *moves microwave*

(Yes readers that’s right I haven’t spoken for 15 minutes, I now retreat to Cyclopentane and eat the Christmas chocolate he is hiding).

Bobal’s Mum: “What will you do with the larder now that it’s empty?”

Bobal: *super excited* “I should use it as my new office! You know, on account of me being a professional blogger!”

Mack: “Really?” (The larder is a tiny room underneath the stairs) “so you’ve decided to become Bloggy Potter? Harry Blogger?”

*stoney silence*

Bobal: “I want the unit in the living for my office and the draws in the bedroom for the living room.”

Bobal: “I think we should re-decorate.”

Mack: “ALL I WANTED WAS SOME SHELVES NEXT TO THE FRIDGE!”

Ahh the joys. To sum up, i wanted shelves next to the fridge. Bobal now has an office under the stairs, my gym has a couch in it that needs to go to the tip, Cyclopentane lives in my office, there are plans to relocate my office up stairs and re-decorate the house. We may be moving the living room to the dining room and the dining room to the living plus we still have no idea where the god damn microwave will go!

Moral of the story, you don’t need shelves next to the fridge… you’re fine, do the dishes and keep your mouth shut! 😀

Mack

 

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