Mack’s Mindless Musings: An Education For Bad Drivers; Lesson 1

As a business development manager, I do my fair share of driving and I like to think I’m a fairly competent driver.

With this in mind I would like to educate drivers everywhere with my understanding of a couple of key aspects of driving. Call it a public service if you will.

1. Motorway Driving

This can be especially scary for your average driver. Hurtling along at speeds in excess off 70mph in a poorly piloted metal box. If I were you I would be terrified! The experience may potentially be less daunting if you knew how to use the lanes properly.

The left hand lane is for driving, centre and right lanes are for overtaking only. You do not have slow, medium and fast lanes. If you are not gaining ground or making progress on the car in front, move the f**k over! I obviously meant ‘fork’ yes fork, put the fork down stop eating your pasta salad as you obviously aren’t concentrating on driving and move the f**k over. I will let you use your imagination for that one. Don’t even get me started on middle lane drivers.

2. Indication

Indicators are the elusive storks on either the left or right hand side of your steering column.

The purpose of your indicators are to ‘indicate’ your manoeuvring intentions to other road users.

When the rusty cogs in your head grind into life and ask you to turn left into Asda’s car park, here is what you do. Check your mirrors to ensure the way is clear, signal your intentions by turning your indicators on then finally execute the manoeuvre. Mirror, signal, manoeuvre.

However here comes the crux of the issue. It would appear that these ninja sticks, Masters of hide and seek or invisible super heroes elude capture on a daily basis as 90% off drivers seem unable to use them.

Find them and use them please or I may be tempted to call you and give you a Liam Neeson-esque speech from Taken.

Thank you.

Mack

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